Things I have learned today;

1. The carpet in the bedroom is a nice terracotta colour.
2. The carpet in the sitting room is grey.
3. The jury is still out as to whether the kitchen floor is supposed to be beige or whether I should just be scrubbing a little harder.
4. Tesco’s All Purpose Cleaner (Citrus, my arse) smells worse than whatever smell it disguises.
5. I walk past the recycling point twice a day. There is no need for it to pile up like that.
6. Housewife of the Year Award is far from my grasp.
7. I’d really rather be reading Emily Dickinson.

Pity none of this is going to help me in exactly one week from now.